Invictus

Out of the night that covers me, 
Black as the Pit from pole to pole, 
I thank whatever gods may be 
For my unconquerable soul. 
  
In the fell clutch of circumstance 
I have not winced nor cried aloud. 
Under the bludgeonings of chance 
My head is bloody, but unbowed. 
  
Beyond this place of wrath and tears 
Looms but the Horror of the shade, 
And yet the menace of the years 
Finds and shall find me unafraid. 
  
It matters not how strait the gate, 
How charged with punishments the scroll, 
I am the master of my fate; 
I am the captain of my soul.

Being a doctor...

Being a doctor is not what it seems. I always thought after medical school that the worst is over, that from then on everything will be smooth and I will be content with my working life. But alas, with the money comes more and more responsibility and here I am now, caught in the middle, burdened between my family's financial situation and my own. But thankfully, I still find pleasure in what I do, and at the darkest of nights when my hands are covered in blood and a life has just been saved, the feeling of content and satisfaction over a days works still washes over me as I wash my hands in the sink. These moments are fleeting, the pleasure almost surreal, since the exhaustion physically and mentally overwhelms everything else. Why did I chose to be a doctor? I have forgotten. It has been a long and winding road which has made me numb.

April 14th, 2008

A friend messaged me recently, saying that reading my blog is like reading a novel. Hmm i guess thats a compliment if sorts, but it could also mean that my life so filled with drama (get it right, im not saying im a drama queen!) being that people seem to think of this blog as a novel, i feel obliged to add a few more quite embarassing yet dramatic "chapters" that happened recently.

I went out on a date with him again last saturday nite. =) since we were just going sumwhere nearby to grab sumthing to eat i decided to dress casually and threw on a pair of jeans, a knitted hoodie (which i like sooo much) and sandals. so anyway we were walking towards Cihampelas when the most embarassing thing happened! oh my god i am still embarassed right now thinking about it. My sandal broke! i mean it just came off! ie, came off as in the strap totally came OFF! ohmigod and i just stood there feeling totally like a fool and then when i gathered my cool, started to laff it off and then tried to be cute about it. hehe i can be pretty charming and cute when i want, lol! ok seriously before gay3 say "maz im gonna vomit in my mouth"..

but!!! he was totally understanding about it and offered me his sandals instead and then he actually walked barefooted to Giant before we got a new pair of sandals for me(which he paid for, i might add). sigh* does this guys kindness and understanding ever stop? i hope not!

i treated him to a chocolate sundae on the way home. just to say that im sorry for being such a klutz, im sure im the only girl whos sandal broke while on a date,leaving him barefeet.

so to the guy who walked barefooted on the street of Cihampelas for me, ur charming n understanding n cute, thank u =)